Sober Meds - sharing and listening

What happens when I don't take my sobriety meds? Sobriety meds are my meetings, entries, and interactions with other alcoholics. The answer is that I lose touch with what my main objective; serenity within myself. I lose focus on what really matters. I progressively become hazed in the fogginess of anger, resentments, and self-pity. I am supposed to be progress to perfection, but never to attaining it. When I fall off of my structure of sobriety, I being reverting back to my old ways. Yesterday was the first one I attend since last Thursday. As of yesterday, before the meeting, I had allowing anger and a slight resentment edge closer to hatred. Hatred....EWWW! GROSS!!! There were moments in the past two days that I had urges to drink. Yep, it's true. I was thinking to myself that all this effort was seeming to be too difficult and a pain in the ass. They say the program to staying sober is simply, but it's sure as hell not easy. These negative thoughts were all before my meeting yesterday, I must include. I got some shit off of my chest. I listened to others' experiences. I continued my search within to finally find where I was at fault. I made a conscious decision to change MY attitude and way of thinking. What was the result? A much more serene day. That's what I look for; serenity. As much as I sometime don't feel like doing what I'm suppose, no have, to do, I have to really keep in mind where my mind goes without what's necessary. Doing what I'm supposed to be doing...ummm, sounds a little grown-up to me! Am I really getting there? I think so!